So, You’re Crushing Dry January and Feel Great! But What’s Next? by Laura Louise Green, MEd, LPC

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

www.samhsa.gov

Helpline: 1800 622 HELP

Sites to find a therapist:

www.PsychologyToday.com

www.InclusiveTherapists.com

www.OpenPathCollective.org

www.GoodTherapy.org

You’re deep into Dry January, feeling great, exercising, eating well, your relationships are more communicative and healthier, your affect is brighter, and you feel like you can take on the world. Awesome. But what’s next? 

Anyone’s relationship with alcohol, whether or not they work in the hospitality or the drinks industry, is so complex because alcohol serves a lot of different functions in our personal and social lives that are interwoven and often overlapping. It’s, first and foremost, delicious and enjoyable to drink, it elevates the dining experience, it’s an expression of culture, and it’s integrated into rituals that build community and feelings of intimacy. But alcohol also acts as a social lubricant and serves as a coping mechanism as well, which is where it starts to get complicated. Is your consumption about ritual and community, or are you coping? Are you drinking at dinner because you’re anxious about the company or because that Riesling absolutely slaps with that Szechuan dish? Is it both? Where is the line between the two? 

The hard truth is that even when we’re using alcohol as a coping mechanism or social lubricant, it’s still serving us in some way even if it’s inherently problematic. In terms of coping mechanisms (coping is defined as what people do to try to minimize stress, and the mechanisms or strategies are the behaviors we employ in order to cope), consuming alcohol would be considered a maladaptive coping mechanism: one that numbs the emotional response, presses pause, and helps us feel better in the short term but doesn’t help us to grow or actually address the stress. To be clear, maladaptive coping mechanisms are sometimes necessary to utilize because we’ve found ourselves in situations that we cannot adaptively cope with yet. The problem we run into is when we never give ourselves time and space to cope adaptively and healthily, and the stress, issues, and problems continue to build without resolution.   

That being said, sometimes it’s necessary to uncomplicate our relationship with alcohol and remove it from our experience entirely. Enter: the plight of the hospitality professional. In addition to all the general hats that alcohol wears in an average person’s life, people who work in this industry have a relationship that’s even more complicated because alcohol is a source of income and creativity. It’s a wonderful subject to study, it’s an artistic medium, and a vehicle for self-expression and experimentation. Those are all lovely hats (many of which I personally rotate through often), but the more complex relationship with this substance means that its presence is loud in our lives—sometimes deafening. It’s an easy and accessible coping mechanism to reach for, and our community’s intimacy, closeness, and connection is often centered around the ritual of consumption. 

When all these different functions are woven together, it often means that removing one function (like coping, for example) is challenging to do without removing the other functions. Removing only one function without a plan also makes it easy to backslide, falling into old habits and patterns you’re actively trying to rid yourself of.  

For all these reasons, people gravitate towards Dry January. Not only does it uncomplicate your life, but it forces us to explore and test out other coping mechanisms. Another thing about coping mechanisms: you are never ever without them. Once your discard one, another swoops in. This is great for a few reasons: coping is essential to the human experience, so we want to have coping mechanisms and strategies. They’re necessary. The other great thing is that we can mindfully choose what coping mechanisms we employ. You might find that since you’re not drinking, you’re exercising more or spending more time cooking. These activities are likely helping you destress, keep your mind off of alcohol, and giving you something to focus your attention on. 

Additionally, there are so many people participating in dry January that we have a massive built in support system. Remember that drinking is largely a social activity that connects us to others, so removing drinking from our life sometimes also mean removing those groups and activities from our lives as well. When there is a massive number of human beings boarding the same boat as you, that support feels good and sobriety isn’t as isolating. 

Being two weeks in, though, everything is so shiny and new. You might have felt some symptoms of depression in the first few days, but now you’re in the honeymoon phase of sobriety. What’s next? 

This is the time when you really need to do some work and have important conversations with yourself and perhaps close family and friends. Below you’ll find some things to think about as you finish the month and start looking ahead. These could be great journal prompts, topics to discuss with a mental health professional, conversations to be had with close friends, or just ideas to push around in your head. Whatever you decide for yourself moving forward, it’s always best to have a plan—even if it’s only an outline. 

• How has my mood changed in the past few weeks? 

• When encountered with tough decisions, how have I reacted? How has this reaction been different than before?

• How have my relationships changed? Have I become closer with certain people? Have I drifted from others? Who has been a source of support? Is there anyone I’ve avoided?

• In reflecting on my time drinking, how often has it been to cope with stress? What are some ways I can identify when I’m coping versus simply enjoying a beverage?

• What might my life look like without consuming alcohol? What would it take to be around it for work or watching around other people drinking? What does that feel like to think about?

• What are some ways I can be more mindful if I decided to reintroduce drinking back into my life?

• Who can I call on for support as I navigate this journey?

Whatever you decide to do, it’s personal! Sobriety works for a lot of people, but sobriety isn’t always necessary when pursuing a healthy relationship with alcohol. You need to do what is right for yourself, and what that looks like will likely change over time. You’re two weeks in right now and have two weeks to go, but this is really a lifetime pursuit. Oh, but that pursuit is so worth it and so wonderful! We all love booze, whether we drink it or not, so why not foster a healthy and knowledgeable relationship with it? Whatever you decide moving forward, do it mindfully, and you’ll be alright.